I signed into Twitter today and there was a lot of chatter about Groundhog Day. Morbius Kromwell got me thinking when he tweeted "Just once, instead of a groundhog, I wish some mutant creature from the depths of hell would rise and wreak havoc...". I started musing about ways to improve this holiday.
This is what I've come up with.
We replace the Groundhog with a Chicken. On the special day, the chicken gets decapitated. If it runs around for more than 1 minute, it means we have a longer winter. If the corpse stops moving before then, we have an early spring (hence the term "spring chicken").
If children in the crowd of festivities get splattered with blood as the chicken runs around, it means more precipitation (rain or snow depending on the spring/winter forecast).
AND best of all, if someone eats the chicken - and by doing so, devours the chicken's living essence/soul - THEY get to overrule the outcome of the chicken run and decide what the forecast will be.
There is a small group of supporters already. Who else is with me?