More Casket Furniture

When you start a business, it's important to know your target audience and the positioning of the product you're selling (a basic decision of who it's for, what it does, and how to appeal to your target group). With this in mind, I think the folks over at Casket Furniture need to work on their selling angle. Or at the very least, reorganize their website. I get the feeling they didn't want to miss out on either crowd - people mourning a loss and people who look at coffins as entertainment.

For example, the second menu item on their website after 'Casket Furniture' is 'Casket Gaming' where you can find items like this Coffin Poker Table.

Are you now in a fun and fancy free mood? Totally on board with how coffins aren't just for funerals? Goooood! Because the third menu item is 'Casket Plans' where we switch gears from fun and games. Suddenly the messages take on a sombre tone to discuss how hard it is to lose a loved one, and the products aren't for fun, but for eternal peace.

But don't get too sad because what's in the next section? That's right, 'Casket Novelties'! Once you've bought the pine box of your choice for that long slumber, you can get a matching wine case! It's just that easy (and a real ice breaker at family gatherings held after the burial of a loved one).

Most of their items (mainly the furniture) are actually...well...pretty cheap looking, despite their gigantic price tags. A perfect example of this is a birch Casket Shelf that looks like painted MDF with velvet stapled to it. I expect waaaayyyyy better for $3,000 (and have seen fellow haunters build it for a couple hundred).

But hands down, the best example of their confusion for positioning a product is this: the Atlantis. What is it? It's a pet casket / hope chest. That's right. "Lined with aromatic cedar there is no place more suitable to immortalize your best friend. Can also be used as a Hope Chest". Two! Two! Two Chests in One!

Idiots.