Gruff

I honestly don't know much about Gruff.

I get the sense she doesn't approve of the others revealing their existence to me, and she was one of the last ones in this group to do so. The only reason I know about her is because she likes to gloat. She'll wait for me, perched on the overturned bag of garbage in the kitchen.

Or she'll sit at the end of the hallway, metal screws poking from her mouth; screws that no doubt belonged to a hinge somewhere in the house. She likes taking the ones from the hinges because I get mad when the cupboard comes off in my hand or the front door won't open properly.

Knowing how much she loves the taste of metal, I have to admire the fact that she's able to sit there in the hallway for so long with the screws in her mouth. Such self-discipline.

Before you judge her, you need to understand that Gruff is the self-appointed protector of the group. I think she's just letting me know who is boss.

As long as she stays away from my car, we're good.

Favourite foods include metal screws, tin cans and chicken bones.