LED Finger Lamps: Creepy Valentine Gift Fail

Every holiday results in retailers trying to convince customers that their product is the perfect gift for that particular time of year. The folks over at www.techchee.com are no exception, but I think the boys from China have pushed positioning of a product just a bit too far in this post for a Valentine gift idea published on Feb. 6, 2009.

The title reads "LED finger lamps for creepy-yet-romantic night on the Valentine's day". As a haunter, I thought the title seemed promising. Even after I saw the picture of the odd LED fingertips, I didn't dismiss the gadget completely, and thought perhaps they would spin it for people who like weird Halloweenish items (I could see prop and costume potential). But then I read the post that explained why these glowing fingertips would make the perfect gift:

You may wanna create special atmosphere on the Valentine's day. What about getting your girl and you in darkness and show her your green-glowing fingertips? It would probably be the most unforgettable Valentine’s night for her.

Pardon?

Confused, slightly uncomfortable, and suppressing the 13 year old boy in my brain who is already stringing together inappropriate off-colour jokes, I keep reading the pitch.

Here comes the LED finger lamps, cost as little as $5.30, and shall be pretty useful to show some magic or to create creepy-yet-romantic atmosphere for your girl on the special night. These LED finger lamps turn on automatically, when you insert your real fingertips into it. Each of these LED finger lamps needs 2 x 3V CR1620 batteries for its power, which shouldn’t give any significant burden to your fingers.

Um. Creepy-yet-romantic atmosphere for your girl on the special night? Well, in this example, you got the creepy part right. You've also got the element of surprise; certainly an unexpected gift and, if I might add, a risky way to present them (though if your intention is to test the boundaries of your relationship, and discover whether or not she loves the real you, this should do it).

Must. Fight. Inappropriate. Jokes. Must...fight!

Since this is a fairly family-friendly blog, I will leave it at this (and encourage any comments from you lot to also be tame): If you follow their advice for wooing your special Valentine, chances are good the night will end in laughter (at your expense), tears (and not the happy kind), or the telling of a very awkward and personal explanation at the emergency ward.