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Mutterings of a Mad Woman

The Underbiters: Gary

on April 11, 2009 - 8:56am

Gary of the UnderbitersGary keeps to himself, moving at his own pace. He doesn't like a lot of commotion (hence his distaste for Dimly). He detests loud noises and bright lights, which explains why Gary can most often be found in dark places around the house: closets, toolboxes, filing cabinets and under the couch.

In the shadows, you can hear him scratching and chewing on whatever he's found. For the longest time I thought we had a mouse.

During the autumn months, he'll trot along the inside of eaves troughs, enjoying the mildew scent as he snacks on soggy leaves. You may think this is a great way to keep the troughs clear, but Gary will rip through protective wire mesh that normally prevents critters and debris from entering. He'll also bend the metal of the troughs, roof flashing and even shingles if they are barring him from some out of reach treasure.

Favourite foods include lost change and unpopped popcorn kernels.

Evil Easter Eggs

on April 10, 2009 - 4:14pm

A few days ago, Gorify posted an army of links to scary Easter eggs. I saved a few of my favourites and did a search of my own to bring you this collage.

Sources from left to right:

Skull-A-Day Skull Egg

SeanKreynolds Frankenstein Monster Egg

photorelativity Xray Egg

B_Zedan Zombie Chicken Egg

gotbaby Eyeball Egg

That Bastard Tara Zombie Eggs

WonderDookie Zombie Egg

Since the x-ray egg isn't a real egg (it's completely computer generated), I'm going to say the zombie in the bottom right is my favourite.

Underbiter Mysteries Revealed

on April 10, 2009 - 12:13pm

UPDATE: Only ONE Underbiter post left before this mini contest is over. Submit your questions about the Underbiter characters to me (email, comment or tweet) to be published here and you have a chance to get a small treat in the mail.

Be sure to enter your email properly if you're hoping to win (so I can contact you)!

And to be fair, the completely unbiased Yetch will be choosing the winners based on a) originality/interest and b) if the question leads to interesting tidbits of background information.

See the full post for more details.

The Underbiters: Dimly

on April 10, 2009 - 7:52am

Dimly of the UnderbitersDimly is a dreamer with a short attention span. He can be nibbling on a flower petal one second, then running across the lawn - mouth open - chasing after dandelion fluff in the breeze. A moment later, he'll change directions again barrelling after a passing car.

Dimly is outside most of the time. He loves the feeling of grass and earth, so his time spent in the house is brief. Have you ever vacuumed, going from one side of the house to the other, and by the time you get back to where you started, there's dirt or crumbs? That's Dimly, dashing through the room.

Dimly can sometimes be drawn out of hiding with a flashlight or a mirror; like a cat, he'll chase a bouncing spotlight (unless another Underbiter stops him). You might also catch a glimpse of him on a windowsill some rainy afternoon looking out and up to the sky.

Favourite foods include all types of plants and string.

The Underbiters: Splink

on April 9, 2009 - 10:08am

The Underbiters: Splink
Splink tends to keep to himself, rarely making a noise or a fuss.

He's one of the Underbiters I see the least. In fact, I've only spotted him twice. Both times it looked like he was floating, but that could be my imagination. He's so quick it's hard to tell. His shimmering green colour adds to the illusion as well.

Splink likes to eat things that 'make stuff go'. Keys, remote controls, the prongs on electrical plugs, and ON buttons being his favourites. He might also be to blame for mornings when I start my car and the gas gauge is somehow near empty when I know it should be almost full (of course, I have my suspicions that Yetch might actually be behind that).

I'm positive Splink is responsible for the switch on my air purifier suddenly not working. I swear I can hear his gurgly little giggle every time I turn the control and nothing happens.

Don't Judge a Book By Its Pseudonym

on April 9, 2009 - 8:54am

Ghoulish Door painted by Ego
I'm not sure why an artist would refer to himself as "Ego". Maybe to convince other people he's confident in his work (which would be overcompensating), or maybe he's pompous in real life and his friends call him that. Hopefully there's an entirely different reason, because while I think his chosen nom de plume has much to be desired, his artwork is a heck of a lot of fun.

Ego is an artist in his 30's from Seattle, which is where you'll find this great door (pictured left). I wouldn't mind having something similar on my office wall.

So what else do I know about Ego? He has an account on Deviant Art where he refers to himself as Lord Ego (*raises eyebrow*) and a blog simply named EGO's Artsy Stuff.

He's heavily into the skater culture, works at a tattoo shop, and is a vegan. That's about it, really.

More art below.

Finding Beautiful Beasties in Video Games

on April 8, 2009 - 1:45pm

Secret World Monster
Despite the glitches I've been encountering on twitter (like waking up to find all my previous posts have vanished), I still think it's a great resource. For example, I never would have encountered King Unicorn, and I would have completely missed his tweet this morning linking to this trailer for the new Secret World video game.

I'm not too interested in the game, but King Unicorn had promised inspiration waited at the end of the link and he was right. That's where I saw this beastie (pictured right).

Nasty little devil, isn't he? What a great face.

I shouldn't be surprised. If anyone knows creepy creatures, it's King Unicorn.

The Underbiters: Gruff

on April 8, 2009 - 9:15am

The Underbiters: Gruff
I honestly don't know much about Gruff. She's the most elusive of all The Underbiters I've encountered thus far.

I get the sense she doesn't approve of the others revealing their existence to me, and she was one of the last ones in this group to do so.

The only reason I know about her is because she likes to gloat. She'll wait for me, perched on the overturned bag of garbage in the kitchen.

Or she'll sit at the end of the hallway, metal screws poking from her mouth; screws that no doubt belonged to a hinge somewhere in the house. She likes taking the ones from the hinges because I get mad when the cupboard comes off in my hand or the front door won't open properly.

Knowing how much she loves the taste of metal, I have to admire the fact that she's able to sit there in the hallway for so long with the screws in her mouth. Such self-discipline.

The Underbiters: Twitch

on April 7, 2009 - 4:28pm

The Underbiters
So what are these Underbiters?

Have you ever been surprised to find a hole in your sock, or tears in the garbage bag, or frayed wires for your stereo speakers? Before you blame bad luck, poor craftsmanship or the family pet, consider the possibility that you have Underbiters living in your house.

This group of generally benign creatures are a band of mischief makers with a penchant for chewing.

While they prefer to avoid humans, they are drawn to our belongings (which may explain their migration from the forest and countryside to urban dwellings). Tree branches might offer a solid crunch and leaves vary from velvety to crisp, but there is a certain satisfaction to chomping down on the manufactured products of man.

Barbie: Graceful Under Pressure

on April 7, 2009 - 8:41am

Alfred Hitchcock Birds Barbie
Many of you have already seen the Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds' Barbie. I know it's old news, but I still wanted to talk about the finer points of the doll.

My favourite aspect of this toy is how Barbie seems unaffected by the brutal attack of crows. She's in a stylish pose, her hair is perfect despite the ordeal and she's even managed a half smile for the camera.

Is she waving at us or trying to get the bird off her head? I swear she's waving. It's like she's pretending the birds are accessories she picked out that morning. "Oh hi! Just on my way to get some milk. What's that? Oh the birds! Yes, yes. Doesn't their licorice black colour just pop against the green material? Gotta run!"